Get Kinky for Texas Governor

By Andrew Bosworth, PhD
www.virtualcitizens.com
2006-10-12

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman is running for Governor of Texas as an “independent.” This is fitting because Kinky hangs out with Willie Nelson and Jesse Ventura. And he is famous as the singer and songwriter of “The Texas Jewboys.”It might be accurate to describe Kinky as a cultural libertarian and an economic populist. He favors decriminalizing marijuana and medicalizing the drug problem. “Texas has more people in prison than Alaska has inhabitants.” And he is right about that ghastly fact. Texas, the Lone Star State, is quickly becoming the Lock Down State.

[Note: Kinky is a great candidate, but he needs our help! He is running against the two major Parties, and independent contributions keep his campaign running. For more information on what Kinky thinks, click here (http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/issues/) . To get Kinky lawn signs, bumper stickers, t-shirt click here (http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/xcart/home.php). To donate to his campaign directly, click here (https://www.kinkyfriedman.com/contribute/). Virtual Citizens is located and staffed in South Texas. Please do all you can to support Kinky Friedman for Texas Governor.]

Somewhere along the line, Texas lost its Wild West culture. What arose, in its place, is a kind of moralistic, paternalistic, reactionary culture in which undercover police arrest people for being drunk – not for fighting or lewdness or driving drunk but simply for being drunk while sitting at the bar. In Texas, cop cars are everywhere, and instead of “serve and protect” the attitude often is “we’ll kick your ass.”

As a result of this authoritarian shift, Texas politics has been dominated by the politics of distraction and division – you know, such pressing issues as same-sex marriage, flag-burning and regulating the sexual suggestiveness of girl cheerleaders, what with their “back lunges” and “low v’s.” The lower House in Austin considers sexually-suggestive cheerleading to be a threat to American Life.

Kinky FriedmanKinky confronts many of these issues head on and with humor, favoring same-sex marriage – in Texas! – because he argues that gays have the right to be miserable.

Kinky recognizes that corporate greed is destroying Texas. Testing companies and their lobbyists have hijacked the school curriculum. Nothing happens in a Texas school that is not directly geared to passing the standardized tests. The school day is nothing more than a flurry of endless, mindless worksheets, all designed to produce a generation of robotrons. The “No Child Left Behind” legacy of the Bush era is roundly condemned by parents and teachers, but it continues nonetheless.

Now, key business sectors are pushing the “Trans-Texas Corridor,” adding yet another system of toll roads to Texas. And the medical mafia is preventing Texas from developing the kind of state health-care system found in Minnesota or Massachusetts.

Kinky recognizes the complexities of the illegal immigration problem, but he does not support the construction of a giant wall. “After all, in about 10 years,” he explains, “we may want to get out.”

Kinky represents an endangered breed of Texas – the rugged individualist whose sense of right and wrong lead him to favor free enterprise and social investments, which include investing in schools, hospitals and the poor. This stands in sharp contrast to the class warfare and Social Darwinism offered by the Republicans.

George W. Bush, formerly the Governor here (and known as the “Texecutioner”) is no cowboy. (Kinky calls him “a good man trapped in a Republican’s body”). But cowboys do not combine ignorance, arrogance and cruelty (what a combination).

When I was in grade school, we all had to read “Shane” by Jack Schaefer. It’s about a cowboy who bravely confronts a cattle baron and his hired gunslinger. It’s about a man who makes the right decision. Kinky is a true cowboy, and he even dresses like one.

Andrew Bosworth, PhD
www.virtualcitizens.com

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Published in: on 10/13/2006 at 12:18 pm  Comments (3)  

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  1. Hey, buddy, ease up on Kinky’s friend George. Kinky says the President is an honorable cowboy. Here’s an interview:

    Susannah McNeely: I seem to remember a year or so ago in a television interview, you said that at 60 you wanted nothing more or less than to be the Salsa King of Texas. And after your bid for Justice of the Peace in ’86, you said you were leaving “that worthless tar baby that is politics” to the young people. What happened that changed your mind and prompted you to run for governor of Texas?

    Kinky Friedman: Nothing changed my mind, that’s still correct. This is not a political campaign. It’s a spiritual one—a spiritual calling.

    SM: How do you think “cowboy” has been used pejoratively?

    KF: By Europeans, by some Americans . . . maybe it’s because of George W., maybe not. It’s been used that way to mean a loose cannon or a bully. But a cowboy has never been that. A cowboy has always stood up for the little people. He’s always been a knight out of time, beloved by all the children of the world. I want to preserve the cowboy as he really is. I want to take us back to a time when the cowboys all sang and the horses were smart. I’m gonna beat this wussification, if I’ve got to do it one wuss at a time.

    SM: As a spiritual leader of Texas, restoring the faith in the way things ought to be?

    KF: That’s right, I’m looking to do spiritual lifting instead of heavy lifting. That’s what I’d do as governor.

    SM: So does this idea of the honorable cowboy have anything to do with why you threw your support behind President Bush in this last election? You did, didn’t you?

    KF: Yes. I did in this last election, but I didn’t vote for him the first time.

    SM: Who did you vote for in 2000?

    KF: I voted for Gore then. I was conflicted. . .but I was not for Bush that time. Since then, though, we’ve become friends. And that’s what’s changed things.

    SM: So it’s your friendship with him that’s changed your mind about having him as president more than his specific political positions?

    KF: Well, actually, I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy. On domestic issues, I’m more in line with the Democrats. I basically think he played a poor hand well after September 11. What he’s been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think.

    By the way, don’t be put off about Kinky’s claim that he voted for Gore. Kinky was simply mistaken about that issue because Kinky’s voting records confirm that he hasn’t voted but once in more than a decade (and that was his sweet vote in 2004).

    GO KINKY!!!

  2. At this stage is it in our best interests to be diluting the vote further? He will siphon votes from the demo’s.

  3. Kinky Friedman in his own words.Choice quotes from Kinky Friedman:

    To punish criminals we should “throw them in prison and throw away the key and make them listen to a Negro talking to himself,” and then he explained that “Negro … is a charming word.”

    “You folks know the Friedman family motto now: The Jews own the world, the Catholics run it, Protestants work it, and the Niggers and Mexicans enjoy it, basically, that’s what they’ve done.”

    “I was run over by a bookmobile coming to the show this evening. They took me to the Ben Talb hospital now- when I came to the doctor told me, ‘Kinky, we’ve had to give you a transfusion with the blood of a person of the Negro persuasion.’ I said, ‘well that’s moderately unpleasant.’ He said, ‘well yes Kinky there’s a good side to this, too. There’s some good fringe benefits. Your welfare check will start coming in next month and your penis just grew 12 inches so these are some things you should think about…'”

    “I went to a bowling alley. I couldn’t go bowling, there were no bowling balls. The people here throw ’em all in the sea, thought they were nigger eggs…thought they were nigger eggs.”

    But he’s so funny! Which is really cool, ’cause I love things that are funny, especially in a 19th-century-type way, like tuberculosis, or child labor. A vote for Kinky is kind of like a vote for dying of syphillis, if that’s the brand of edgy humor you think ought to be emanating from whatever they call the Governor’s mansion in the lone-star state.


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